Dear Hoomanz

C TEH BUBBLE WRAP BEHIND ME? I KNOE U R JEALOUS!

Dear Hoomanz, 

We r Fattie an Uglie (thaz wut r mama n papa call us) an we r kyoot. Cant tell us apart? Fattie has 4 tapez. Uglie has 2 tapez.

R mama iz vry busy rite nao an she iz vry angry evry dai so we decidd 2 taek ovar 4 teh meen tiem.

Todai, were goin 2 teach u how 2 be kitteh. Cuz kittehs r coolr than hoomanz. N dawgs. 

numbr 1: Sleep teh whole dai. Y? Cuz thaz wut kittehs do. No wundr we r so prittee!

numbr 2: Own pig plush toyz. Cuz bakonz come frum pig n bakonz r yummeh. 

numbr 3: Be fusy eatr. Cuz u r kitteh.

numbr 4: Grow pot belleh. Hoomanz like hooj round tummehs. They wil giv u moar nom nomz if u has pot belleh. 

number 5: Wear hatz. 

number 6: Sleep sum moar. 

number 7: Doan try 2 hard. Ure not dawg. U r kitteh. 

number 8: Iz teh most importent...

KILL

4

FUN!

Kittehs doan kill 4 nomz. We killz 4  teh entirtaynment. 

P.S. Maek them suffr. Kthxbai!