September 27, 2012

Faking Prettiness 101

Hello! I'm Lizzie. I was an ugly duckling.

My classmates loved to call me caterpillar (because apparently, I looked like one.. although how a human kid could resemble a larva is still a mystery to me). My older cousins christened me fish lips, and eventually, retarded goat. So convinced were they of my "goatness" that they even leashed me and tied me to a window sill one fateful day. I stayed fettered for a couple of hours.


And people wonder why I have issues!




From a bullied ugly duckling, I grew up to be...

No, not a beautiful swan. I'm not that predictable.

I grew up to be an average duck.

Yes. Life sucks and fairytales are for babies.



I embraced being average, however. It's not so bad after all. Being naturally beautiful might have made me a bigger asshat, anyway. Gah! Can you imagine?! 


Enough with the prelude and let's get down to business. Please note that this is not a makeup tutorial. This is a lesson in deception at its finest. It's tried and tested: I managed to trick a yummy fiiiiiine male specimen after all. Poor thing is stuck with me for eternity. :)



1. Start with a blank canvas. 
Cleanse. Moisturize. Protect.


This is me, in all my average glory. Taken early in the morning, less than hour after I woke up (I washed my face and brushed my teeth, of course. How can I ever take pictures of myself with morning breath?). No makeup. No Photoshop. No creepy doll-like contact lenses.  If a pig and a puffer fish would have a baby, that would be me. My husband insists that I am at my cutest in the morning, though. I believe him because he usually smothers me with hugs and kisses before he goes to work, well... not when I'm drooling excessively on my pillow. It happens sometimes, you know.


Fat face. 

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2. Get even. 
Invest in a good foundation.


I seldom use foundation these days. I prefer to use tinted moisturizer because it's more gentle to the skin and is lightweight. Although it has an almost sheer finish, it does a good job in evening out my skin tone. I also don't have to worry about sporting a kabuki mask whenever I want to overenthusiastically slap it on my face.


Snapseed filter added. Gotta stick to my vintage-y style somehow. 

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3. Cover up.
Concealer is for useful for hiding yesterday's hangover and fooling men into thinking you're flawless covering up redness, dark under eye circles, and post-acne hyperpigmentation. Best applied with a brush.

Snapseed Filter added
As shot. Chicken pox scar alert! 

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4. Fill in. 
If you have sparse eyebrows or if you have a husband who loves to tickle you (I was reshaping my brows last week when my husband decided it was the perfect time to tickle me. My left brow was cut in half. And because I'm a genius, I shortened the right one as well), you must have a good eyebrow kit. I prefer powder because it gives a more natural finish. Pencil, especially on untrained hands, is likely to make the brows look severe.

As shot.


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5.  Mattify
A good powder not only sets the foundation/tinted moisturizer and brow powder, it also gives your face a velvety finish. Plus points if it can conceal pores.
As shot. 

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6.  Flush it!
Blush can brighten up your face and make you look like you haven't been avoiding vegetables and the sun since 1995. 
As shot.
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7. Stain
Prettify those puckers.


I prefer lip stains/tints because they last longer and they look less dramatic --- eating a tub full of raspberries might deliver the same results. I haven't tried it yet. In case you want to, let me know how it goes. 
As shot.

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8. Define!
Lining the eyes is one of my most favorite beauty tricks. It does wonders to one's appearance. For a softer look, I moisten a fine-tipped brush, dip it in dark brown eyeshadow and line my lids as close to the lash line as possible
As shot.
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9. Get nude. 
Stick to neutrals. They're versatile.

I'm partial to understated, barely-there eye makeup because:

a. It doesn't make me look like a hooker Barbie wannabe.
b. It doesn't give people the impression that my face has been violated by a toddler who just discovered Crayola.

As shot. Wearing circle lenses. 
As shot. I almost always use shades of brown eye makeup. I'm boring. 

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10. Distract them!
Wear something pretty on your head --- like a chic hat, dainty headband or live birds. It will divert people's attention from your imperfections. 

As shot. Nose contoured using medium brown eye shadow. 


11. 'Shop 'til you drop! 

Photoshop can be your best friend. This is optional, however. Whatever you do, please remember to never EVER try this at home:

Scary, right?

As shot.
After basic adjustments +  airbrushing.

"There are no ugly women, just lazy ones."


NOTE:  I'm average and there is absolutely nothing wrong with being one. I'm not here to fish for compliments. Honesty isn't synonymous with false modesty. What's more, having a realistic view of one's self (looks-wise) isn't equivalent to body dysmorphic disorder and/or insecurities.



MAKEUP

Bobbi Brown tinted moisturizer
Benefit Boi-ing concealer
Red Earth brow kit
Benefit Hello Flawless powder
Clinique Blushwear cream stick
Max Factor Lipfinity lip tint
NYX Smokey Look Collection

ACCESSORIES

Polka dotted headband: Forever 21
Floral headband: Claire's

67 comments:

  1. Nice how to! I hardly ever go out with a naked face. I think you're pretty, but I think the important part here is that girls should know that if they're not confident with the way they look, they can do something about it. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed. :) There's always a solution.

      I found out how liberating it is to go out bare-faced, actually. I'm kinda loving it.

      Delete
  2. This is really helpful! I just bought a tinted moisturizer, good decision pala! Thanks thanks! :) I agree with your hubby, you look pretty in the morning, sans makeup. :P


    http://www.dekaphobe.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. Yup, tinted moisturizer is a good choice. You won't have that caked on look. Plus, skin-friendly pa.

      Delete
  3. That is you one hour after you wake up?! *Curls up in a ball*

    Again, I love your blog!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Noooo. I just know my angle. If it makes you feel any better, I can send you a link to a before photo with an unflattering angle. LOL.

      Delete
  4. Does it freak you out that I actually adore each one of your posts? HAHA! They're all so funny and real.

    PS. I'm a concealer addict. To cover the bags. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww. Thank you, princess. :) I love concealers too. Can't live without them. For a woman in her 30s, I sure do break out a lot. That's why concealer comes in hands to cover up fresh post-acne red marks.

      Delete
  5. YOU ARE NOT AN AVERAGE DUCK!!! I look at you and I always think, "Damn, I love her hair. She looks so pretty! Gaaah, I wish I looked like her!!!"

    Super love your posts! Hahaha I think you are hilarious! hehehe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, hun. Seriously??? You're gorgeous kaya!

      Delete
  6. I have to say your cousins sucked lol

    After reading this post, I'm set for the day. No one can ruin my mood now. Not even my $hitty boss :)

    Here's to celebrating being average albeit in my opinion you are beautiful :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My cousins sucked indeed. LOL. I still hold grudges. Thanks, dear. :)

      Delete
  7. I also consider myself average, I just learned to work it, meaning I use resources available to enhance my attributes; makeup, clothes, and a positive disposition. These are the things that help boost my confidence and make me overlook my imperfections.

    Nice tutorial by the way and you look pretty even without makeup.

    Out of all the steps you mentioned, I only get trouble with foundation. My skin tone is what they call acidic, it darkens when I put something on my face. It doesn't matter if the foundation is one step lighter than my skin, my face still darkens. So I do away with foundation and just use facial cream.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You? Average? You gotta be kidding me! Your facial bone structure says otherwise! :)

      You might wanna try tinted moisturizer?

      Delete
    2. Hmmm... Okay I will try tinted moisturizer, see if it'll work for me :)

      Delete
  8. awwww i enjoy reading your post ;) makeup really boosts one's self confidence. I am amused you look as pretty even without makeup on~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, hun. Makeup is a gift from God. LOL.

      That and circle lenses. :)

      Delete
  9. Your husband is one lucky man!!

    oh I love you blog. You are so funny!! Will you do me a make-over? hihi

    Thank you for this post. I learned a lot. I must really start looking for the right foundation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw, thank you. :) Been a silent reader of your blog for a while. ^_^

      We should have a blogger meet up.

      Delete
  10. Well I wish you are in Manila so you could teach me in person how to put on makeup. I love learning from a pro!

    xoxo
    MrsMartinez

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww... you don't need me at all. I've seen your lovely work. :)

      Delete
  11. You're above average!
    I'm one of them lazy who is clueless on putting on make-up!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, dear. Less is more is uso naman these days. :)

      Delete
  12. I only wear light make up... the basic face powder, mascara, lip gloss and I use eyebrow pencil (I tried the powder but I didn't know how to use it). If I only know how to apply make up I probably would try out more things on my face. haha!

    www.officiallygirlyfied.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe one can look her best by wearing minimal makeup and knowing which feature to enhance. :)

      Delete
  13. Oh my dear! I am indeed lazy. Hahaha.

    I know lining the eyes make me look better but I don't always do it because of laziness. I would just cleanse, moisturize, apply concealer and foundation, lip gloss and lip stick. When there is enough time, I would put on some blush and do my eyebrow. I rarely line my eyes talaga. Wahhh!

    Promise, I will make time to line my eyes from now on. Thanks Lizzie! <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lining your eyes is like Photshopping yourself in real life. You'll lurv it. :)

      Delete
  14. You are pretty and you know that...:)

    I, too, love barely-there make-up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Barely there makeup is the most flattering naman talaga. :)

      Delete
  15. I love how you refer to it as "faking prettiness." Don't we all feel this way? Let me tell you -- The Bonnie that Mr. A sees when we wake up is very different from the Bonnie that leaves the house for work every morning. It's a wonder what makeup can do.

    http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
    Twitter: @GlamKitten88

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't believe in "natural beauty". :)

      Delete
  16. wow, you are such a pro!! thanks for the tip.. I am just learning to put on makeup myself. I guess you could call me one of the lazy ones, haha! but I am getting the hang of it.. hopefully I would get better!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you.

      And practice makes perfect. :)

      Delete
  17. I guess I'm one of the lazy ones, but I don't want to be called ugly. Nah! Seriously, I'm buying myself a concealer; I need one for my pimple scar. Thanks for that tip! And oh, by the way, you look gorgeous!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. :)

      I don't think there are ugly people. Only ugly souls. :p

      Delete
  18. I love the vibe of the post, it is so vintage. I also considered myself an average girl and I am really lazy in the morning. I guess commuting makes me more lazy to put something on my face. I just wear my smile. haha BUT if I am really industrious I look different and I get weird reactions from people. hahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've become lazy too. I hardly even put anything on when going out, but maybe because it can get too hot here as well (40-45C, maximum I experienced was 48C).

      Delete
  19. Me! Me! I fall under the uber lazy category. Haha!

    I wish I was as talented as you. :) And seriously, I think you're pretty. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, dear. :)

      It takes a bit of practice lang. :)

      Delete
  20. I love how you write your posts. It makes me smile/laugh.
    I think you're very pretty and talented! :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. ugh, if you're an ugly duckling..ano ako? distorted dinosaur? waaaah
    u are so pretty! :) i really hope we could meet when i get to dubai..when are u leaving?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Uy, ano ba? Distorted dinosaur ka dyan!

      I really hope so too. Leaving in December, but I'll be traveling a lot in October and November. :(

      Delete
  22. you are so pretty, sis! you got that innocent face, vintage look! i wanna try your powder!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. :)

      Benefit Hello Flawless is beyond awesome. It's my favorite item in my kikay kit at the moment. The finish is just wow. :)

      Delete
  23. Kids can be so mean. They're just covering up for their own insecurities. Basta rock on lang and continue doing what makes you happy. =)

    ReplyDelete
  24. This post makes me laugh and remember my younger days. and for me, I fake prettiness by doing wide shot photo, I look pretty kapag malayo hahahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same heeeeeere! I look like a chipmunk pag malapit ang shots. :D

      Delete
  25. You're pretty even without make-up. But I super enjoyed this post (just as your other posts as well). I love that you're very honest in all your posts.:) I wish I could have the interest to experiment a DIY with my face as well. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. :)

      Basic, minimal makeup is not too hard. :) Everyone can do it.

      Delete
  26. Yes, life is not a fairytale, but when you find your prince (and you have!), the you can start creating your own. :D

    So few of us actually turn out to be swans, but being average can be quite liberating if you look at it from a positive side! We don't have to be ogled at most of the time. Sometimes lang. Haha! :D

    ReplyDelete
  27. OMG sis, you are beautiful. Even without your make up you have fine qualities. Your eyes and your lips are beautiful. :) Anyway, I suck at make up I wish I am good at it. I can do the usually apply the concealer + foundation but the rest ... ? I just get too confused. But this inspires me to practice. hihihi

    ~ Leah @ http://curiousweekends.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  28. You're gorgeous! You're not an average duck! I love your blog- clean and chic! Totally digging your posts! I am now a new follower! yey! :)


    PS. I never thought you are married already. Akala ko college student ka pa. :P

    Maggie
    http://morbidfrank.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  29. I like tinted moisturizers too these days. When I look at past photos of myself wearing foundation, I shudder at how thick and unnatural the coverage is. As you grow older talaga, you tend to go back to basics no?:p

    ReplyDelete
  30. I don't usually wear make-up, one of those lazy peeps, i know, hehe! But for not-so-special occasions, I learned to apply blush and curl my lashes. I use tinted moisturizer too. But I don't know how to apply concealer so the dark circles are always there, and I can't use eyeliners..

    You're married? You look so young..

    ReplyDelete
  31. love your skin sis, do you have any tips on keeping your skin whitehead and blackhead free? sana you can share it here. I badly need them =)

    ReplyDelete
  32. Hi Lizzie! Which Snapseed filter did you use in these photos?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi. It's a mix of Ella, Charley and Wes. :) Turned off the texture.

      Delete
  33. I love you because you are so real! Not every blogger can be like that. So, kuddos to you Lizzie! :)

    Sai from Fashion by Sai (The Fashionista)

    ReplyDelete
  34. your picture on no.11 reminds me of those kids from toddlers and tiaras

    ReplyDelete
  35. You were pretty anyway, even as a kid! but not as a baby. still I think all new borns are ugly. lol

    ReplyDelete
  36. you're pretty and witty! love your blog :)

    ReplyDelete
  37. r u f-cking kidding me? -_-
    when i first looked at your photos and hadn't realised it were you, i thought it was the photos of a model or smth
    big eyes, small nose, full lips, perfect skin, great bone structure
    you wouldn't be average even if you tried.you are gorgeous

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, ugly duckling is far from what she is, she does look lovely in all pictures, she's a silly bugger to think otherwise. ;P

      Delete

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